Featured, NBA, NCAA, NFL

Rabbit Punches: Rondo’s Torn ACL Prevents Development Jumper for 26th Straight Year

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death. prevents

Since the Pro Bowl is about as much fun to watch as a traffic camera in Wyoming, this week’s RP will be a preview of what to expect after the NFL season is over. It will be a review of the most important happenings¬† throughout the weekend across all sports, or at least the stories I can think of joke for.

Rajon Rondo tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the season. Rondo will have to spend the majority of his off-season rehabbing his knee which is unfortunate because this was the off-season he was finally going to work on a jump shot.

The NFC beat the AFC 62-35 in the Pro Bowl. Roger Goodell said on Reddit that he watched the game and noticed improved quality of the game. Goodell also noted that he won his bet taking the under set at 99 total points.

Kyle Rudolph won the Pro Bowl MVP. This award ranks right below is Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award for best tight end in college while he was at Notre Dame.

61% of players in the NFL disapprove of Commissioner Roger Goodell. The other 31% of players just do what Tom Brady tells them to.

Thad Matta got a raise to $3.2 million this weekend. Ohio State is not worried about Matta as their head coach because he has kept his nose clean so well. But even if OSU discovers Matta is a horrible cheater they will just hire two-time national champion Billy Donovan.

Michigan reached the number one ranking in college basketball for the first time since 1992. This is great news for Michigan fans and terrible news for everyone else who will be forced to see more of Jalen Rose’s awful commentary on Sports Center.

Tiger Woods won the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines this weekend. Many people thought Tiger playing in a Farmers Insurance sponsored tournament would be a conflict of interest after Allstate released plans to add a new “Mayhem” commercial with that guy in a black suit chasing Tiger’s car with a golf club.

A bat disrupted play as Marquette hosted Providence on Saturday. Afterwards the bat explained it just wanted to see a live Big East basketball game before the conference gets flipped upside down in the coming years, and the bat can just watch on TV.

 

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